Category: Psychological Interventions

Categories
Brain Health Psychological Tips

Your Phone is Not Your Friend

your phone is not your friend

A friend is a being that is there when you require help.

Now imagine something or someone that provides you with exactly the things you lack at the time.

You’re feeling bored? This friend provides you a lot of entertainment to witness and talk about!

You don’t feel good? This friend gives you a million things to watch and laugh at.

You feel heartbroken? This friend provides you with countless pieces of advice – often pretty contradictory.

But most of all, this friend provides you with exactly what you think you want.

And what we think we want is often not really what we require.

So, in this article, I will be talking about a few reasons why your phone is not your friend.

Easy Access to Lies

In your low mood, you can always pick up your phone, go on instagram, or facebook or tiktok and you would instantly see many people seemingly living their lives to the fullest.

Living their lives as no human can.

The simple fact of the matter is that social media portrays a very distorted version of reality. Everyone is often at their best – or worst – behavior and image.

Does a friend lie to you?

They certainly should not! I am not talking about the probability of whether a friend would lie to you or not. Rather the concept of a friend is someone who wishes you well.

Your phone, however, is not your friend.

Then what is your phone exactly?

Unhealthy Addictions

Simply put, social media, smartphones or any kind of technological devices are simply tools to help you perform specific functions. There is no ethical or moral substrate of such devices. However, what they can lead to is the main problem.

Vape pods were considered an innovation of technology. They were shown as a new way to help smokers quit tobacco! However, recently these pods are being banned across Europe because they have actually got many teenagers hooked on nicotine!

This was a device for helping people. But it ended up enabling an entire generation towards nicotine addiction.

Your smartphone on the other hand does not hand out just one problem.

This device, unlike the vape pods cannot be banned. Moreover, it has become a part of daily life. You need your phone to order food, get a cab, navigate the map, prepare and conduct meetings in the workplace. But just a few clicks away, there lie many of the most addictive applications ever created. These apps have been proven by research to induce stressful habits.

Among the myriad of issues, social comparison, anxiety, depression, loneliness are just a few of them.

Lower Productivity

 If you’re spending so much time on your phone, using social media, you are automatically letting it eat up your time to be productive!

Research has shown that social media usage drops employees’ productivity significantly. No wonder you are not able to get your tasks done on time! And even if you somehow get them done – think about how much better you can perform your tasks or go on new ventures just by using that time lost to social media!

Smartphone Addiction Can Mess up Social Interactions

Ever wonder why some of your elders complain about young people always being on the phone?

Well, try to get an important point across to someone who cannot maintain eye contact because they think something on their phone is more interesting.

Interesting does not equal to important. This is just one way constantly being on your phone messes up social interactions.

“The Machine is much, but it is not everything. I see something like you in this plate, but I do not see you. I hear something like you through this telephone, but I do not hear you. That is why I want you to come. Pay me a visit, so that we can meet face to face, and talk about the hopes that are in my mind.” (E. M. Forster, The Machine Stops).

While phones can be a tool to facilitate interactions, they reduce the human, irrational and emotional aspect of communication which is natural for us. Emotional expression serves an important function in our communication with other people.

Emojis may be able to give a surface level understanding of what you are feeling. But it cannot convey the entire emotion. Or the gravity of what you are talking about.

Conclusion

Our phones are devices that help us communicate. But unlike older times, they now also serve as portals to other people’s (slightly to highly) distorted presentation of the world. In fact, they have become a world in themselves because of the sheer amount of information they can give us access to.

But they are not a substitute for organic experiences. Much of the world is still organic. The food that we order, the cab driver we call, the people we see online – all are living inside an organic reality.

Let us not let our phones fool us into a world where we can access, download, delete and log out of any situation that we so desire.

Categories
Uncategorized Psychological Interventions Psychological Tips

How to Deal with Boredom

Boredom is a common experience that everyone faces at some time in their lives. It certainly is annoying. But it also has a profound impact on our psychological well-being and productivity. In this essay, we will look at practical solutions to deal with boredom.

I will also ask questions along the way – try to answer them!

While sometimes boredom is natural, prolonged boredom can have a harmful impact on mental health. According to research, it can lead to feelings of emptiness, worry, and even sadness. When managed properly, boredom can actually be a stimulus for creativity, problem solution, and self-reflection.

Strategies to Overcome Boredom

To build a happy and interesting existence, boredom must be addressed immediately as well as over time. Here are some evidence-based approaches:

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness entails being completely present in the moment and accepting your current situation without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, you may have a better understanding of your emotions and ideas. And by understanding them better, you can actually identify the source of your boredom.

Are you aware of the things around you? Can you hear the little sounds you miss every day? The traffic outside, the chatter right out the door – or within your office or bedroom. There are many things that you have missed – just by being inside your head!

Deep breathing, body scans, and focused observation are simple approaches that may turn routine jobs into intriguing experiences.

Engage in Creative Activities

Boredom may be effectively alleviated via creativity. Painting, writing, and playing music engage the brain. We thus feel a sensation of achievement and delight. Cooking and gardening are also creative activities that you can do.

Have you thought about creating something lately? A dish, a painting, a poem, prose or whatever you want to create? Isn’t it time to resume that?

Set Goals and Challenges

Boredom typically occurs when we lack direction. Setting defined, attainable objectives may increase your sense of purpose and motivation. Break down major goals into smaller chores to maintain a sense of progress and success.

When was the last time you set a goal for yourself? Or have you already set one and don’t know where to start?

Change Your Environment

Sometimes a change of location is all that is required to reenergize your thoughts. Changing your environment, whether by exiting your office, going for a stroll, or visiting a new area, can bring fresh insights and inspiration.

Have you gone out recently? Or have you been living in the same environment day in and day out?

Learn Something New

Challenging your brain with new information or abilities can also prevent boredom. Consider taking up a hobby, enrolling in an online school, or delving into a topic you’ve always been interested in.

What are the things you are interested in? Or had an interest in?

Continuous learning maintains the mind sharp and interested.

Connect with Others

Human connection is a natural cure for boredom. Contact friends, relatives, or coworkers to arrange a discussion or shared activity. Social relationships not only ease boredom, but also improve general well-being.

Are you neglecting your friends? Are you neglecting important relationships? Should you, maybe, check in with them?

Embrace Solitude

You don’t always have to run away from boredom. Sometimes, sitting with your boredom and allowing yourself to contemplate may lead to great insights and self-discovery. Journaling or meditating during these times might help you examine your ideas and feelings more fully.

Do you think you have been neglecting yourself?

If you have been, then perhaps it is time for a change!

Limit Passive Consumption

While surfing through social media or binge-watching TV shows may appear to be simple ways to relieve boredom, these activities frequently leave us feeling disappointed. Instead, choose active participation, such as reading a thought-provoking book, engaging in a virtual workshop, or doing a hands-on project.

Exercise Regularly

Physical activity is a known mood enhancer and boredom killer. Exercise causes the release of endorphins, which boosts mood and energy. Yoga, jogging, and dance may all bring a sense of purpose and success.

Have you been moving around lately? How about going out for a walk alone? Or getting that gym membership you have been thinking about recently?

Cultivate Gratitude        

Gratitude changes your focus away from what you lack and toward what you value. By keeping a thankfulness book or just focusing on the wonderful parts of your life, you may cultivate a sense of fulfillment and prevent boredom.

Is there something in your life that you are glad you have? It could be anything, a pet, a good friend, family – a good bedroom or bed.

Why not make it a point to acknowledge these things once a day, maybe?

Perhaps, it might change your mind.

When to Seek Help

Boredom that persists and interferes with your everyday functioning may indicate the presence of underlying disorders such as depression or anxiety. In such instances, receiving assistance from a mental health expert is critical. Therapy may help you recognize and treat the fundamental causes of your feelings, giving you the tools to manage them successfully.

Conclusion

Boredom, while frequently seen negatively, is a normal and important aspect of the human experience. By recognizing its psychological roots and implementing proactive techniques, you may turn boredom into an opportunity for growth, creativity, and self-improvement. Accept it as a signal to realign your life with activities and goals that are actually meaningful to you.

After all, in the words of existential psychologist Viktor Frankl, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

Categories
Psychological Tips

5 Ways to Make Winter Holidays the Best Time of the Year!

The winter holidays have just arrived as the world experiences the coldest days of the year. Whether you are religious, or not, there is something very cheery about the last week of December and the New Year to come! For some, this is a time of festivities. For others it is a time to relax and get cozy. However, for some it is not perhaps the season that they look forward to.

Whatever the case might be, winter holidays provide us with a chance to rejuvenate ourselves. It has been a long year after all.

So let’s go over 5 ways you can really enjoy your time off!

Set Realistic Expectations

The holiday season carries a slew of expectations. We expect that our décor would be beautiful. We believe that we will give and/or receive ideal presents. We also expect that the family gatherings would be warm and cozy.

Realistically, however, not all of our goals or expectations can or should be met. Setting unreasonable standards can cause tension and disappointment. Here are a few things you can do instead!

  • Prioritize traditions: Keep up with traditions that give you and your close ones joy and let go of the more burdensome ones.
  • Communicate your expectations: Talk about what you are expecting from the upcoming dinners or gatherings with family and friends to avoid misunderstandings.
  • Practice gratitude: Focus on what you have rather than what you need.

Controlling expectations can vastly decrease stress. It can also make it easier for you to relish the times that are most important.

Cultivate Meaningful Connections

Holidays and festivities can provide a fantastic time to enhance your social ties. However, socializing around this time can be overwhelming. This is especially true if you are dealing with family disputes or feel alone. So,

  • Connect more: Hang out with your friends, attend community events, or volunteer to alleviate loneliness.
  • Set boundaries: Limit encounters that are emotionally taxing or harmful to ensure your well-being.
  • Have quality interactions: Deep, meaningful communication frequently outperforms surface-level small conversations. Share memories, show appreciation, and participate in activities that promote intimacy.

Social ties are a vital component in promoting happiness and minimizing feelings of loneliness, making them essential over the holidays.

Embrace Mindful Practices                

The holiday season can be a flurry of shopping, cooking, and partying. This leaves little time for relaxation. Incorporating mindfulness into your daily practice might help you remain grounded.

  • Be present: Enjoy every moment, whether it’s a peaceful evening with hot chocolate or a festive Christmas celebration.
  • Meditate: Set some time aside for some peace and quiet for a few minutes everyday to decrease stress and enhance emotional resiliency.
  • Refrain from over-scheduling: Make time for self-care activities, such as reading a book, going for a stroll, or having a sleep.

Mindfulness enables you to appreciate the now instead of stressing about the past or future, which improves your whole holiday experience.

Balance Giving and Receiving

Gift giving is a ritual in many festivities, but it can also be stressful. Finding a balance between giving and receiving might make the encounter more enjoyable.

  • Keep it meaningful: Prioritize meaningful presents above expensive ones. Handmade objects, customized remarks, or experiences can have a greater meaning.
  • Express gratitude: Accept presents with thanks and avoid feeling obligated to return in like.
  • Be generous: Offer your time, attention, or aid people in need. Volunteering or supporting a good cause might increase your sense of accomplishment too.

Giving and receiving gifts are both important components of pleasure. Generosity activates brain areas associated with pleasure and happiness, generating a positive feedback loop.

Take Care of Your Physical and Mental Health

One can easily neglect healthy habits during the holidays. However, maintaining balance is critical for overall well-being. Here are a few things you can include in your checklist:

  • Physical exercise: Regular physical exercise helps alleviate seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and improve mood. Consider winter sports such as ice skating, skiing, or a brisk stroll in nature.
  • Eat mindfully: Limit holiday sweets and prioritize healthful meals.
  • Sleep adequately: Get enough sleep to manage stress and preserve emotional balance. Establish a consistent sleeping schedule, especially throughout the holidays.
  • Seek support from a trustworthy friend, family member, or therapist if experiencing stress or mental health difficulties.

Prioritizing self-care guarantees that you’ll have the energy and emotional capacity to truly enjoy the holiday season.

Bonus Tip: Create Your Own Traditions

The temptation to follow long-standing customs may often take away from the joy of the holiday season. Consider inventing new routines that appeal to you and your loved ones.

  • Cultural fusion: Combine customs from many origins to create a unique family or community.
  • Go on a personal trip: Enjoy your trip alone by pampering yourself or going on a solitary excursion.
  • New Year’s Resolution: Use the holidays to write, establish plans for the coming year, or relive memories.

Personalized rituals may make the holiday feel more real and meaningful.

The winter holidays may be spectacular. But remember, they don’t have to be flawless to be fun. You may make this season more joyful and fulfilling by following all of the little tidbits listed above. Remember, the holidays have typically the smallest moments of connection, thankfulness, and self-compassion.

Categories
Dark Personality Psychology Psychological Tips

The Positives of Psychopathy

M Abdullah Qureshi

Psychopathy is a psychological construct that refers to callous and unemotional patterns of attitudes or behaviors. While much of the popular opinion on psychopathy is actually negative, there are some behaviors of psychopaths which are also seen positively. An evidence of the allure of psychopathy can be seen in the fact that Ted Bundy, the American serial killer who reportedly killed 30 women between 1974 and 1978, received fan mail during his incarceration.

But this article does not talk about why psychopathy is attractive. Rather, I argue that certain behaviors that are classically found in psychopaths can actually produce good outcomes.

Psychopathy can actually be a helpful trait in various contexts.

As evidence, there was a large survey of psychologists, attorneys, and professors. The researchers gave them a list of psychopathic features. Following this, they asked the volunteers to say if they knew someone in their field who had those traits and was either good at their job or bad at it. The findings were interesting because the people who took part did say that successful psychopaths can be found in all fields.

The question this article attempts to answer is: what are the positives of psychopathy?

So, let’s dive straight into it!

Charisma

A study looked at the personalities, behaviors, and results of the lives of 315 people. They discovered a link between psychopathy and charm. They also discovered that these people were more likely to “work the system” in order to get ahead. People in general gravitate towards charismatic individuals. It can be through the way that they conduct themselves with others.

Charisma can elevate others’ perception of you. For example, another study showed that the superiors of ‘corporate psychopaths’ thought they were great at their jobs and should get awards. According to the higher-ups, these people were organizational stars.

Problems with Charisma

It is also important to consider that charisma is often used as a mask in psychopathy. The first study I quoted also indicated that many times, psychopathic people who were very charming were able to cheat on their partners, lie, abuse their work rights, or commit crimes without getting caught or punished. This was more common for psychopathic people who were less charismatic.

Moreover, studies also showed that these corporate stars bullied, scared, and forced those below them to do things that were not acceptable.

So, I would recommend you to separate the wheat (charisma) from the chaff (exploitation).

Confidence

People who are psychopaths are known for not being able to change their bad habits or stop responding to punishments. This is not exactly a desirable trait.

However, consider this persistence in the context of pursuing a tough goal. Whatever the world throws at you, you remain persistent. That’s not really bad at all!

Some scientists link psychopaths’ inability to change old habits to a “low fear IQ,” or a higher threshold for reacting to things that make you afraid. People who are less sensitive to dangerous cues tend to have a fearless personality as kids, which can grow into social confidence, daring behavior, and mental strength as teens and adults.

Problems with Very High Confidence

If we generalize this very low fear to one’s entire life – that’s when we get into the problematic waters. It could happen that in one’s high confidence level, they might perform tasks very wrongly. This would lead to eventual failures.

Moreover, if this is a recurring behavior, the individual might continue to fail again and again.

Having sais that, as long as the low fear is used in a few demanding situations, psychopathy could actually make a person confident in themselves.

Target-directed Attitude

Psychopaths have been proven to be less affected by conflicting information. It has been shown in task-based studies that they only attend to the prepotent goal-related information.

They do not seem to be affected by peripheral non-target information.

This means that psychopaths focus less on information that is not directly related to a goal they have if they are on to something. The pinpoint focus on the goal at hand is actually a great trait to have – as long as it can be controlled.

By focusing on the target and remaining fixated on it, one could ignore unnecessary anxiety-causing information. We already know that anxiety can be debilitating in itself. So, only attending to the goal might actually cause you much less distress.

Problems with High Levels of Target-directed Attitude

One can very easily overlook important conflicting information – much as is the case with too high confidence. In fact, pursuing a target single-mindedly could also mean that the individual neglects other responsibilities.

This could then cause major issues in domestic life. This tilt towards just one direction would mean that other important things would just be ignored completely.

High Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the psychological trait which signifies how we feel about ourselves. People who have psychopathic personality problems are said to have high self-esteem.

However, this can vary with the subtypes of psychopathy.

Researchers have found that there are two types of psychopathy: main psychopathy and secondary psychopathy. These two types share antagonism, hostility, and rashness.

But the two are different in a way that has to do with their social habits called “withdrawal–sociability.”

Psychopaths who are of the primary type tend to be outgoing, dominating, confident, and low in anxiety. Secondary psychopaths, on the other hand, tend to be less social, have low self-esteem, be moody and nervous, and have more mental health problems.

Feeling good about oneself can lead to various desirable outcomes, even a decade onward!

Problems with Very High Self-Esteem

However, having too high a self-esteem could lead to a lack of insight – a problem with most psychopaths. This, conversely, has bad outcomes because out of very high self-esteem, the person might not take into account all the risks involved in setting unrealistic goals.

This could lead to major failures.

Conclusion

While psychopathy is considered to be a part of the dark tetrad of personality, it is a nuanced trait. There are factors of psychopathy which in many situations could actually be considered very ideal. Perhaps that is the main reason why many psychopaths continue to build successful careers and lives. However, it is also very possible that such individuals have built up many adaptive behaviors to either mask or manage their psychopathy.

Whatever the case might be, there is definitely a lot to be learnt from even dark personality traits!

Categories
Cognitive Psychology Psychological Interventions Psychological Tips

Psychoeducation (REBT): How ‘Musts’ or Demandingness Lead to Behavioral Disorders

Imagine a scenario where something unexpected happens. This situation stresses you out immensely. You do not know how this problem will resolve, but you want it to just go away. Someone must help you. The event that distressed you must not happen again. You must resolve it quickly.

In short, the world must comply with what you want. Or else, things will be in disarray. Or else, you cannot be satisfied or be happy.

This is what demandingness or ‘musturbation’ is. And no, it definitely isn’t a typo!

Musturbation is a colorful term, coined by clinical psychologist Albert Ellis, as one of the major reasons for psychological disturbances that lead to behavioral disorders. This forms one of the bases of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

In this essay, I will attempt to show you how demandingness or musturbation can lead to major psychological issues.

Types of ‘Musts’

It is first important to understand the major types of musts in demandingness. These are related to:

  • Beliefs about oneself
  • Beliefs about others
  • Beliefs about the world.

This is directly parallel to Aaron Beck’s Cognitive Triad.

Musts about Oneself

Often times, we have certain demands on ourselves. We expect that we would be able to perform certain tasks or attain certain consequences. However, sometimes, these demands are not reasonable. They could be beyond our capabilities at a time. It could be that our circumstances might make it impossible to pursue a goal.

In these cases, if we continue to believe that we must accomplish something and realistically, it is not even a little probable, we can identify these beliefs as ‘musts’ about ourselves.

Musts about Others

At times, we might expect things from others. We might expect our parents to be caring, loving and willing to go out of their way for us. We might expect our friends to do so as well.

However, we might be overlooking the fact that they might simply not consent to do that.

When this consent, based on others’ personal motivations, does not help us fulfill what we want fulfilled, there we can see our musts about others.

Musts about the World

We often think in cosmic terms. For example, we might think that the world is favorable or unfavorable to us. We might also expect that social norms and rules should be a certain way. Particularly in the way that satisfies us physically, psychologically or ideologically.

But, here, imagine that people violate norms regularly. If we are not able to understand why people do so, it is possible that we have some unrealistic demands of the world. These could be demands of a completely honest system.

We could also demand that the world is always fair. But we do understand that the world probably isn’t fair.

Here, demandingness could lead to helplessness.

Having understood the types of demands that we might have, it is now time to see the direct link between demandingness and major psychological issues.

Demandingness is Irrational

Psychiatric disorders are characterized by psychological disturbances. These disturbances interact significantly with biological mechanisms involved in our experience. These mechanisms range from how we perceive things after the process of sensation, to our physiological arousal before, during and/or after an event.

Musturbation or demandingness, is an individual’s tendency to unrealistically demand the factors around them to obey the individual’s rules and wishes.

In reality, we cannot control others. We can bind them with personal, social or legal contracts, but we cannot completely control the way they think or behave.

Thus, our demands that things or situations remain exactly how we please are irrational.

Irrational beliefs frequently come into friction with reality and this causes psychological distress. This is often a precipitating factor of emotional and behavioral disorders.

Demandingness Can Lead to the Downward Spiral of Emotions

Demandingness also leads to higher feelings of stress. In fact, it doesn’t just increase in stress to oneself, but in their family as well. Stress, in turn, can manifest through milder symptoms of anxiety, panic or depression.

Further ‘musts’ can materialize during these symptoms as they can lower one’s mood even more or make them anxious and hyper vigilant about what they are going through. One might attribute these symptoms to their personal characteristics or to external events completely.

So, they could hold themselves completely responsible for what they are going through. On the flip side, they can hold others responsible for it. Neither of these two beliefs or thoughts is based on reality.

Hence, demandingness and stress could interact with each other and create maladaptive thoughts and even beliefs. This could, in turn, cause more negative interpretations of stressful events, heightening the irrational beliefs, emotions and behaviors.

And thus, demandingness leads an individual into a downward spiral of emotions.

Conclusion

Demands that are unrealistic are far less likely to materialize. Unfortunately, the fact that they do not materialize does not usually convince us that these demands are irrational.

Rather, a constant habit or thought processing based on irrational demands could lead us to make alternative demands that are irrational as well. This thought-system is what can be identified in many of the psychiatric disorders. While Ellis understood that we are biological beings and there is a biological basis of these mental conditions, what usually precipitates or maintains them are our irrational beliefs.

If you find that you might have problems similar to this, it could be that you are simply placing demands that are too high. If you do not know how, try talking to a professional about it. Remember, there are ways to make your experiences better.

Categories
Psychological Interventions Psychological Tips

Procrastination: Important Factors and How to Deal with It

Imagine an important task that you have to complete in a short time. However, you find yourself only thinking about it, contemplating it for most of the time. You know that it is important that you complete it as early as possible. You understand that you will feel less stressed out. But you keep on finding other, less important things to do.

Procrastination is the behavior of putting off doing what you need to do to reach your goal. It is also considered a product of lack of self-regulated performance.

 In some ways, procrastination shares characteristics of maladaptive daydreaming. Both procrastination and maladaptive daydreaming are thought to delay important tasks that one has to complete. Moreover, procrastination can also involve instances of fantasizing.

However, the primary distinction between procrastination and maladaptive daydreaming is that procrastination is not bound to any single behavior.

In this article, I will explain the main features and types of procrastination. I will then tell you what to do about your habits of procrastination.

Causes of Procrastination

Some people don’t have problems with putting things off.

However, most of the time, procrastination can lead to bad outcomes that can’t be fixed because it stops progress instead of reaching goals. It’s important to note that even though people have different thoughts and meanings of delay, the reasons why workers of companies put things off are still unknown, and sometimes even contradictory results have been found.

So, experts have come up with a list of reasons for it, such as personal, environmental, and goal-related factors.

Individual Factors

Individual factors are generally related to the characteristics of the individual. This could include factors such as personality, ability to concentrate, personal habits etc.

Basically the individual factors that cause procrastination are those that relate to a person’s unique behaviors, patterns of thinking and emotions that are fully or partially independent of the environment.

Environmental Factors

The environment an individual is in also has major effects on his/her behavior of delaying goals. These include social and physical domains. Social environmental factors include the relationships one has.

A social factor could be observed in an individual who is living in an environment where they have to constantly respond to people. This could lead them to put off their task incessantly.

There are also physical environmental factors that influence one’s goal-directed behavior. For example, a study shows how cold weather could lead to delaying of tasks.

Goal-related Factors

Then there is the point regarding the characteristics of the goal itself. One might find that a goal is too difficult to complete in that time period.

On the other hand, one could also think that the goal is too easy and put the work off for some other time. There is also the factor of incentive. The person might find that they are not going to be rewarded enough for their work.

In a nutshell, goal-related factors are those aspects which relate to achievability and attractiveness of the goal.

Is All Procrastination Bad?

It is important to understand that procrastination is not always bad.

People who passively put things off are procrastinators in the usual sense of the word. Passive procrastinators don’t mean to put things off, but they often do because they can’t make choices and act on them quickly. Active procrastinators, on the other hand, can follow through with their plans on time. But they stop what they’re doing on purpose and pay attention to other important things that need to be done.

When a deadline is coming up, inactive procrastinators feel suffocated and negative about their future, especially about their ability to complete the task to their satisfaction. Their feelings of weakness and self-doubt make them more likely to fail and make them feel guilty and depressed.

But active procrastinators like to work when they’re rushed. When they have to do things at the last minute, they feel pushed and driven, which protects them from the kind of pain that passive procrastinators often feel.

Overcoming Procrastination

I have established, based on evidence, that not all procrastination is bad. Now it is important to see how maladaptive procrastination can be replaced with a more adaptive procrastination.

Prepare for the Task

One leaf we could take out of the active procrastination literature is to prepare for the task, if you are delaying it.

Often times we might be tempted to forego thinking about the task completely.

But we’re not going to do that!

Instead, try prepping yourself for the task. If you have an assignment on hold, you could Google more information about it. If you have to practice an instrument, search out video guides that could prep you for it.

The main point here is to be aligned to the goal actively.

Set up a Proper Plan

I use the term proper plan because a true plan would also have some time-frame that you have to follow.

While you gather the information about the goal, set up a brief plan of your mode of action. For that, you would have to place a deadline by which you would at least have some work done. If the task appears to long, break it into 3 or 4 smaller tasks and give yourself shorter deadlines for it.

When you are aligned to your goal actively, setting up a proper plan is the next thing that should happen.

Increase Your Activation Levels in General

Research has shown that more physically active individuals can control procrastination more. In some ways, one can then understand what makes active procrastination such a positive indicator for success.

Staying active can have a very significant indirect effect on procrastination.

When it comes to physical and mental health, people who are physically active have a better opinion of their quality of life. This more positive opinion is linked to less procrastination.

There is also a neuropsychological effect of physical activity as well. Engaging in higher physical activity can better regulate neurotransmitters such as Dopamine and Serotonin, both of which play a part in motivation. In turn, a more motivated individual would find it easier to finish the task at hand.

Conclusion

Procrastination is considered as a maladaptive behavior of putting off important goals. However, the concept, as explored above is far more nuanced than that. In this short article, I went over the causes and types of procrastination and also how can one control passive procrastination.

However, if you believe that your levels of procrastination are becoming too difficult to control, there is no shame in seeking help. After all, our goals are worth fulfilling.

Mostly.

Categories
Psychological Interventions Psychological Tips

How to Get Over the Loss of a Loved One

There is often no psychological state that is more painful than experiencing the death of a loved one.

 It could be a parent, who nourished you throughout your life. It could be a family member, a sibling, a cousin, a grandparent who you had great memories with. But they are no longer in this world.

Their death makes you realize that you cannot talk to them. One realizes that they can no longer confide in that person, or comfort that person, or be comforted by that person. If it was a friend, the loss of meet-ups and hangouts that you used to have frequently further cement certain negative emotions. Suddenly, the emotional support that they gave you, seems to vanish in thin air. Research indicates that the closer the loved one, the more significant the distress.

While interventions to help bereavement have their fair share of controversy, I believe that some interventions can be helpful. I am forced to believe this as bereavement has now been excepted as a possible circumstance for symptoms of major depression.

In cases such as these, I, as a clinician have to first understand the level of attachment my patient had with the deceased. I have to judge, through both standardized and subjective tests, my patient’s personality, their life history, their connections and friends, the depth of the association with the deceased and also how they normally tend to cope in these situations.

The management plan starts and shifts with the results of the assessment.

However, I have found certain concepts that work with a large number of patients.

In this essay, I will talk about 3 basic psychological methods by which you can get through this tough period.

Controlled Catharsis

Catharsis is often used as a term of drama and theatre wherein the central tension of a character’s story or of the plot itself, reaches a climax.

In the psychological literature, catharsis has a controversial reputation. This is because the word catharsis is used almost synonymously with venting.

Berkowitz showed in 1962 that actively reacting against someone who has hurt you doesn’t make you less hostile. In fact, it might make you more hostile. This is an important discovery because most people strongly believe that ‘venting’ is a helpful way to deal with anger.

However, there is a major difference between ‘venting’ and ‘controlled catharsis.’

As Thomas Scheff puts it, catharsis in a secure setting is very much like expressive art.

Hence, what I mean by ‘controlled catharsis’ is the expression of disturbing emotions in a controlled manner.

Write about your emotions. Write down your thoughts about the person who you lost. In fact, you could write to your deceased beloved, showing your emotions and what you miss about them.

However, it is important to remember that the point of catharsis is not to explode onto the paper. Rather, it is to let your feelings out in actual words, sentences, drawings or whatever format of writing you prefer.

Plan an Activity

There is significant evidence for how engaging in physical activities could help a person recover from the loss of a loved one. Martial arts, yoga, running, and walks can all be very good for you. Physical exercise also gives you a sense of freedom, lets you share your feelings, gives you a break from your sadness, and makes your social support stronger.

However, the activities do not only have to be in an individual context or a social context. If both individual and social domains of a person’s life are addressed in that activity, it can have a larger effect.

Take cycling for example. There is evidence that cycling can offer

  • A physical challenge,
  • A deep link to nature, and
  • A support system of people who share your interests.

These healing effects of riding can have a major effect on the experience of sadness and loss. Moreover, they can even help you grow out of the pain that you experienced while getting physically fitter.

Radical Acceptance

Events that include the loss of a loved one can be traumatic. Not only could there be the grief of losing that person but one could also experience deep philosophical challenges.

What is the meaning of life?

Does life matter?

Do I matter?

These questions are only some of the ones that clients often asked in my therapy sessions, during the period of bereavement.

These questions also challenge the way we view ourselves and the world. The cognitive triad is a great way to understand how a traumatic event could disrupt our beliefs about ourselves, others and the world.

To deal with such philosophical problems, some psychologists have put forward the concept of radical acceptance. To put it in a nutshell, radical acceptance is the adaptation of one’s philosophy of life to the possible randomness of things observed in life.

Death is an inevitability which can philosophically challenge many of our notions about life. To radically accept the death of a loved one is not at all an easy thing. However, acceptance can lead to a more mature understanding of life.

Conclusion

The loss of a loved one is a difficult time period. As I mentioned early on, the closer the person was, the greater the feelings of grief that we are likely to feel.

Bereavement has now become non-exclusive for the diagnosis of major depression. While controversial, this signifies the intersection between the experience of death of a loved one and major psychiatric issues.

In this article, I have mentioned 3 basic psychological interventions that you could use to help with your grief. However, it is important to mention that one could experience severe symptoms and this grief might not resolve with time and the activities that I mentioned above.

In such a severe case, it is probably time to reach for professional help.

After all, we cannot solve everything by ourselves. Sometimes it is important to reach out for informed and ethical help.

If you have anything you would like to add, please leave it in the comments section below.