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Blog History of Psychology

History of Lobotomy: A Tragic Tale In Medical History

The Treatment That Caused Suffering

Imagine yourself in this scenario: confronting mental health issues. In the case that you struggle with anxiety, depression, or any other ailments, you seek medical help, but when you awaken after treatment, you seem to be trapped in a body that doesn’t feel like yours.

Words fail to explain and echoing in your mind are mixed emotions of self-identity and confusion which has consumed you. It sounds like a bad dream, doesn’t it? This is what so many people of the mid 20th century struggled with. It shocked them. These people who became the primary candidates for suffering from a severe medical condition known as a Lobotomy, where deep tears of hope were at once brought and immense pain, metaphorically speaking, implemented.

Lobotomy is considered today one of the most significant blunders in medical history. The fact remains true that the horrors of such practices did exist. It does beg the question however, why did society posses such naivety? Why was society so late in understanding the perils this medical excursion came with? Let’s try to shed some light on this and try to answer the endless questions swirling around this dark tale.

What Is Lobotomy?

Lobotomy was a surgical procedure where doctors would cut the connections between the frontal lobe (the part of the brain responsible for emotions, decision-making, and personality) and the rest of the brain. The idea was simple: by disrupting these connections, they could “fix” mental illnesses like schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety.

But here’s the catch: while some patients seemed calmer after the surgery, many were left emotionally numb, mentally impaired, and completely dependent on others. What started as a treatment for severe mental illnesses soon became a quick fix for all sorts of “problems”—misbehaving kids, “difficult” women, and even soldiers suffering from PTSD. It was less about healing and more about control.

Before Lobotomy: The Violence of Early Psychiatry

To trace how lobotomy became an option in psychiatry, it is important to explore its predecessors. Starting from the early 1900s, treating mental health was in shambles. Medical practitioners had no clue what mental illnesses were, and it was nothing short of watching a dangerous “therapeutic” circus. Here are some of the most shocking “therapies:”

Trepanation: Guy’s literally drilling the skull to let “evil spirits” out by opening some holes onto them.

Insulin Coma Therapy: Infusing patients with insulin hoping it would “restart” their brain and put them into a coma.

Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT): Putting shocks into patients and hoping to trigger seizures (surprisingly used today, but in a better version).

Cold Water Therapy: Prisons treating patients who behaved in ways shockingly to their ice cold dunking waters.

Mental Asylums: These were institutions that were primarily overcrowded and under funded, where patients were simply neglected and abused.

With all of these considered, lobotomy seemed like the less stupid alternative. One thing positive is that lobotomy portrayed itself as a scientific breakthrough when in reality it was simply another form of cruelty disguised as surgery.

The Birth of Lobotomy: A Deadly Concept

What we know now as lobotomy was pioneered by António Egas Moniz, a Portuguese neurologist, in the 1930s. According to Moniz, mental illness was brought on by overactive neural linkages within the brain. His remedy? Cut those links. His initial experiments were a matter of injecting alcohol into the brain to damage tissue, but he eventually designed a surgical process to actually sever or scrape off brain tissue.

Moniz’s work caught on, and in 1949, he was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. That’s right—you read it here—a procedure as barbaric as lobotomy was once hailed as a medical miracle. This approval lent a patina of respectability to lobotomy, and physicians worldwide started using it.

The Ice Pick Lobotomy: A New Level of Horror

Although Moniz began the lobotomy phenomenon, it was

Walter Freeman, an American doctor, who escalated it to an entire new realm of terror. Freeman created the transorbital lobotomy, a process that could be performed in a matter of minutes using minimal machinery. Here’s how it was done: Freeman would place a sharp object (usually looking like an ice pick) through the patient’s eye socket, hammer it to shatter the bone, and then move it around to cut brain wires.

Freeman received no professional training in surgery, but that did not deter him. He toured the U.S. in his “Lobotomobile,” operating on thousands of patients in hospitals, clinics, and even temporary facilities. By the 1950s, more than 50,000 lobotomies had been done in America alone.

Who Were the Victims?

Lobotomy was not restricted to the severely mentally ill. It was performed on anyone who was “difficult” or “hard to handle. This is who was most vulnerable:

Women: Many women with depression, anxiety, or postpartum psychosis were lobotomized in order to make them more “compliant” and “easy to manage.”

Children: Children who acted poorly or had emotional problems were likely to undergo this surgery, likely because their parents or guardians were frustrated.

Soldiers: World War II veterans diagnosed with PTSD on their return received lobotomies instead of appropriate treatment by mental professionals.

Marginalized Groups: Individuals who had defied social norms—namely women, minorities, and the poor—were more frequently targeted.

Perhaps the saddest story was Rosemary Kennedy President John F. Kennedy’s sister. Rosemary was 23 when she underwent a lobotomy in the hope of “curing” her mood swings and learning disabilities. The procedure left her speechless and incapable of caring for herself, and she spent the remainder of her life in an institution.

How Lobotomy Destroyed Lives

Lobotomy often had awful repercussions.

Emotional Numbness: Many people completely lost their capacity to experience happiness, grief, or thrill.

Memory loss, disorientation, and problems with daily activities were prevalent in people with cognitive impairment.

Deficient of Character: Patients grown to be passive, indifferent, and lacking their prior selves.

Physical complications: Some patients died, developed infections, or had seizures as a result of the surgery.

Lobotomy for many deprived them of their humanity as well as failed to heal their disease.

Case Study: Howard Dully: A Child Victim

Howard Dully was just 12 years old when Walter Freeman performed a lobotomy on him. He had been tagged by his stepmother as “difficult” and “unruly,” and Freeman believed a lobotomy would correct him. The procedure left Howard with emotional damage and learning disabilities for many years. In his book, My Lobotomy, Dully recounts his process of learning about what had been done to him and reclaiming control of his life.

Case Study: Rosemary Kennedy: A Silenced Life

Rosemary Kennedy’s life demonstrates how lobotomy was employed to manage individuals. She was a lively young woman before her lobotomy, but she was disabled for life afterward. Her disability was concealed by her family, and she lived the rest of her life in seclusion.

Fall of Lobotomy

1960s saw lobotomy going out of style. Its downfall was caused by several things:

Psychiatric drugs such Thorazine provided a safer, more efficient solution for mental illness treatment.

Media Exposure: Journalists and activists began to expose the horrors of lobotomy, sparking public outrage. A viewing of media.

Ethical Concerns: Increasingly under fire was the medical sector for the ethical consequences of lobotomy.

Legal reforms: Acts and rules were enacted to shield patients from invasive treatment.

Lobotomy had by the 1970s mostly been discarded and consigned as a warning from the annals of medical history. Popular culture bears an enduring legacy from lobotomy. The terrible consequences of the therapy have been investigated in works like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and The Lobotomist.

Ethical Lessons: Might It Reappear?

Lobotomy’s story raises significant ethical issues regarding the part of science and medicine in society. Some techniques under discussion include: rare medication that may one day be seen as abhorrent or cruel.

Still used in some cases, not withstanding the risks and controversies, electroshock therapy.

Overmedication: The pervasive use of psychiatric drugs—especially in youngsters—has raised questions about overprescription and long term repercussions.

Neurosurgery for Mental Disorders: Radical operations like deep brain stimulation have disquieting parallels with lobotomy.

Upcoming Technologies: In the future, brain implants and AIdriven therapy could present fresh ethical issues.

Final Thoughts: Knowledge from the past.

Lobotomy serves as a sharp reminder of what can result when science is followed without consideration of ethics or humanity. It highlights the need of thorough investigation, informed permission, and a will to protect the autonomy and dignity of patients.

Advancing constantly in the medical field demands we stay alert so our search of perfection never damages our humankind. More than just a historical curiosity, the history of lobotomy is a warning story that calls us to consider the ideals driving our behavior and the heritage we aspire to leave behind.

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Blog

10 Psychology Books Everybody Should Read

Psychology, the scientific study of the mind and behavior, has been shaping our understanding of human nature for centuries. From ancient philosophers like Aristotle, who pondered human thought and emotion, to modern psychologists like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, who explored the unconscious mind, psychology has continuously evolved. Today, it plays a crucial role in nearly every aspect of life from personal growth and relationships to workplace dynamics and mental health.

Understanding how the human mind works is more important than ever. In an age where stress, anxiety, and burnout are common, psychology provides valuable insights into emotional well-being, resilience, and self-improvement. It helps us recognize behavioral. patterns, understand decision-making, and even improve our social interactions.

The rise of social media and digital content has further fueled interest in psychology. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube are flooded with bite-sized psychology insights, making complex concepts more accessible to the general public. More people are seeking therapy, embracing self-help strategies, and using psychological principles to enhance productivity, relationships, and personal happiness.

Psychology books serve as an incredible tool for gaining deeper knowledge beyond social media snippets. They offer research-backed explanations, real-world applications, and transformative ideas that can reshape how we think, feel, and behave. Whether you’re struggling with motivation, looking to understand human persuasion, or simply curious about why we make irrational choices, the right psychology book can be a game-changer.

Now, let’s explore ten must-read psychology books that will challenge your perspectives, deepen your understanding, and help you apply psychology to everyday life!

1. Thinking, Fast and Slow – Daniel Kahneman

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
Source: Amazon

Why Read It?

This ground breaking book by Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman explains how our brains process information. He introduces two cognitive systems:

  • System 1 (Fast Thinking): Intuitive, automatic, and emotional.
  • System 2 (Slow Thinking): Logical, deliberate, and effortful.

How It Changes Your Thinking

The book reveals that most of our decisions are made unconsciously through biases and mental shortcuts. Understanding this helps us become more rational and aware of how we are influenced.

Real-World Application

Marketers use cognitive biases to influence consumers. For example, anchoring (setting a high initial price before offering a discount) makes deals seem more attractive. Understanding these biases can help us make better financial and everyday decisions.

2. The Power of Habit – Charles Duhigg

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Source: Amazon

Why Read It?

Duhigg explains the science behind habit formation and how we can reshape our behaviours. He argues that most of our actions are habitual, and understanding how habits work can help us improve our lives.

How It Changes Your Thinking

By recognizing that habits operate in a cycle of cue-routine-reward, we can reprogram our behaviours to replace bad habits with positive ones.

Real-World Application

Companies like Starbucks and Apple train employees using habit-based systems. You can apply the same techniques to improve productivity, break addictions, or develop healthier routines.

3. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion – Robert Cialdini

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion – Robert Cialdini
Source: Amazon

Why Read It?

Why do people say “yes” even when they don’t want to? Robert Cialdini explains the six psychological principles behind persuasion:

  • Reciprocity – People return favors.
  • Commitment – We stick to past decisions.
  • Social Proof – We follow what others do.
  • Authority – We trust experts.
  • Liking – We are influenced by people we like. 

How It Changes Your Thinking

You’ll start noticing how advertisers, politicians, and salespeople manipulate these principles to influence decisions.

Real-World Application

Retailers use scarcity marketing (e.g., “Only 2 left in stock!”) to increase sales. Knowing this helps us resist impulsive decisions.

4. Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor E. Frankl

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
Source: Amazon

Why Read It?

Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, explores how finding meaning in life helps us endure suffering.

How It Changes Your Thinking

This book teaches that our response to suffering defines our life. Even in dire circumstances, we can choose a meaningful path forward.

Real-World Application

People recovering from trauma, grief, or mental health struggles often find healing through purpose—whether in relationships, work, or helping others.

5. The Psychopath Test – Jon Ronson

The Psychopath Test – Jon Ronson
Source: Amazon

Why Read It?

This book explores psychopathy and how mental disorders are diagnosed, raising questions about how we label mental illness.

How It Changes Your Thinking

You’ll rethink what normal” mental health means and how society defines psychopathy.

Real-World Application

Many CEOs and politicians have high psychopathy traits (like lack of empathy and manipulativeness, making this book essential for understanding power dynamics.

6. The Social Animal – Elliot Aronson

The Social Animal – Elliot Aronson
Source: Amazon

Why Read It?

This book dives deep into social psychology and how people influence each other.

How It Changes Your Thinking

You’ll see how group dynamics, stereotypes, and biases shape your interactions daily.

Real-World Application

Understanding cognitive dissonance can help in decision-making, reducing stress when faced with conflicting beliefs.

7. Quiet: The Power of Introverts – Susan Cain

Quiet: The Power of Introverts – Susan Cain
Source: Amazon

Why Read It?

Susan Cain highlights the strengths of introverts in a world that favors extroverts.

How It Changes Your Thinking

You’ll appreciate the power of deep thinking and solitude instead of feeling pressured to be outgoing.

Real-World Application

Introverts make great leaders, thinkers, and creators—this book helps them thrive without pretending to be extroverts.

8. The Lucifer Effect – Philip Zimbardo

The Lucifer Effect – Philip Zimbardo book cover

Why Read It?

Based on the Stanford Prison Experiment, this book explores how power and authority corrupt even moral people.

How It Changes Your Thinking

It challenges the idea that only “bad” people do evil things, showing how situations shape behavior.

Real-World Application

This is crucial in understanding workplace abuse, police brutality, and unethical leadership.

9. The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk

The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk book cover

Why Read It?

This book explains how trauma affects the brain and body and how new therapies help in healing.

How It Changes Your Thinking

You’ll understand that trauma isn’t just mental, it physically changes the brain and nervous system.

Real-World Application

Methods like yoga, EMDR therapy, and mindfulness can help people heal from PTSD and emotional pain.

10. Predictably Irrational – Dan Ariely

Predictably Irrational – Dan Ariely book cover

Why Read It?

Ariely explains why humans behave irrationally but predictably, especially in decision-making.

How It Changes Your Thinking

You’ll realize that most choices, especially financial ones, are emotionally driven.

Real-World Application

Understanding free” psychology and the power of emotions in decision-making can improve your financial

Final Thoughts

Expanding Your Mind Through Psychology

These books offer profound insights into how we think, make decisions, and interact with the world. Whether you want to improve your personal life, develop better habits, or understand others more deeply, these books provide a strong foundation in psychology.

But let’s be honest reading psychology books isn’t just about learning facts. It’s about those “Aha!” moments when you realize why you procrastinate, why people behave irrationally, or how a simple mind set shift can transform your life. The beauty of psychology is that once you start applying its principles, you begin seeing patterns everywhere in conversations, in marketing tricks, in your own daily habits.

Think about it: Have you ever wondered why you can’t resist a “limited-time offer”? Or why you remember embarrassing moments more vividly than happy ones? Psychology books decode these mysteries, making life a little less confusing and a lot more fascinating.

Making Psychology Fun and Practical

One of the best parts of diving into psychology books is how practical they are. You don’t have to be a researcher or a therapist to use these insights. You can apply them in everyday life—negotiating a better deal, understanding your emotions, improving your relationships, or even tricking yourself into being more productive.

For example, after reading Atomic Habits by James Clear (another must-read, by the way!), many people have transformed their routines by making tiny habit changes that snowball into massive improvements. Or take Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion—once you learn Cialdini’s six principles, you’ll start noticing them in every advertisement, sales pitch, and even friendly conversations.

Psychology is Everywhere Are You Paying Attention?

Once you start exploring psychology, you’ll never look at the world the same way again. Watching movies? You’ll analyse character behaviours. Scrolling through social media? You’ll recognize cognitive biases at play. Having an argument? You might just pause and reframe your approach.

Psychology isn’t just about knowing it’s about seeing, questioning, and understanding. It helps you make better choices, avoid manipulative traps, and live a more intentional life. By applying what you learn, you can create positive change not only in yourself but also in those around you.

So, What’s Next?

Now that you have this list of incredible psychology books, the real question is: Which one will you read first? Are you drawn to books about habits, decision-making, persuasion, or mental health? Let us know your pick and why—it’ll be fun to see which book resonates with you the most!

And if you’ve already read some of these, share your thoughts! Did any of them change the way you think or live? Let’s start a conversation and keep the learning going!

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Character Analysis TV

Analysis of the portrayal of BPD-related themes in Bin Roye Character Saba Shafiq (played by Mahira Khan)

Part1: Analyze the portrayal of BPD-related themes in the drama, focusing on the character of Saba Shafiq (played by Mahira Khan)

Intense and unstable relationships

People with BPD often have difficulty maintaining stable and healthy relationships. They may experience intense and sudden shifts in their feelings towards others, leading to idealization and devaluation of the same person. In the case of Saba, she sometimes has extreme emotions of love towards Irtaza but also gets angry when things don’t go her way. She also idealizes Irtaza by comparing him to the moon. In a scene when Irtaza is coming to their house, she keeps saying that I can see the moon. It was also seen when finally she got married to Irtaza, in the start she did not feel love for him, although that is what she always wanted.

Fear of abandonment

Individuals with BPD may have an intense fear of being abandoned or rejected by loved ones. When Irtaza decided to go to the USA, Saba’s reaction was very extreme and in front of everyone she said that he cannot go to the US and will stay with her forever. She also tries to manipulate him by asking him to stay in Pakistan.

Unstable self-image

People with BPD may struggle with a distorted or unstable sense of self. They may have difficulty understanding who they are, what they want, and what their values and beliefs are. Saba also shows this, when she is not sure, if she wants her sister to be happy with irtaza or not. One time she is content with the marriage of her sister and Irtaza but then she lashes out at the time of the wedding. So she is not sure what she wants.

Hallucinations

After her sister dies, she blames herself for the death of her sister. When she goes to her husband’s house she starts seeing Saman in the mirror, because she feels she has robbed her of this. So she starts experiencing some minor hallucinations that can occur in BPD according to DSM.

From Associated features:

Undermining Self

It is stated in DSM that individuals with borderline personality disorder may have a pattern of undermining themselves at the moment the goal is about to be realized. This associated feature is evident in Saba’s behavior where you can see that after the death of Saman she gets a chance to marry Irtaza, who is the love of her life. But she disagrees and now she wants to marry someone else. 

Ideas of reference

Individuals with borderline personality disorder can also develop ideas of reference. Like when Saba is talking to a lady and she is saying that if you will wish the thing your heart wants it will come before you and then she ask her to close her eyes and Fuff on a rose pattel and when she opens her eyes, Irtaza is standing there by accident. But with Saba’s facial expression she looks happy that her wish came true. So she associates events to be related solely to her.

In conclusion overall the depiction of borderline personality disorder are presented well enough in the series but it still lacks some presentation.

  • The severity and frequency of symptoms is not what it should be in BPD.
  • She also gets Borderline Episode suddenly and then stays normal for a while. This does not happen in BPD.

Part 2: Discuss the role of therapy and support systems in the drama:

Saba did not receive any therapy or intervention for her mental health issue. They did not take her to any psychologist or psychiatrist. This is close to reality because personality disorders are rarely reported, or people rarely go to therapy for personality disorders until and unless they are in very severe condition.

If we talk about how her family played a role in the severity of her symptoms. We can see that she was very close with Irtaza but still her family allowed them to be together and do what they were doing. Although their behavior with each other was opposite to social norms but family still allowed it.

One detrimental thing was that after finding out that she had feelings for Irtaza they still did not let them get married or resolved this issue, which made her situation even worse.

Her grandmother was supportive of her and she used to confide in her grandmother so she was an important support figure for her. Also after the death of Saman, Saba’s family did understand how much impact it had on Saba and they consoled her and gave her space. They also helped with getting her out of the toxic marriage she had with Aamir. Also when they married her to Irtaza they let her go to the US and that made them rebuild their relationship.

Irtaza was also very supportive and appeared as a strong protective factor as he was tolerant of Saba’s behavior and emotions when she was not letting him stay with her in one room and when he was getting avoided by her. He supported her in that period and also shared his love with her and made her understand that she was not the cause of Saman’s death.

Part 3: Management For Borderline Personality Disorder

DBT typically combines various elements, including group skills training, individual psychotherapy, and phone coaching, although there can be variations. Throughout DBT therapy, patients are encouraged to monitor their symptoms and utilize the skills they’ve learned on a daily basis, with their progress being tracked (May et al., 2016).

There are four primary categories of skills covered in DBT skills training:

Mindfulness Meditation Skills:

Mindfulness meditation skills focus on being fully present in the current moment. These skills involve observing, describing, and participating in all experiences, including thoughts, sensations, emotions, and external events, without passing judgment on them. These core skills are essential for effectively applying other DBT skills.

For instance, Saba in this example showed extreme emotions at the event of the wedding when Irtaza and Saman were getting married, she even cursed Saman. Mindfulness Meditation skills could have helped Saba stay in the moment and observe her feelings and act effectively on them. She did love Saman, so if she would have thought about what she wanted to do she would have stopped herself from cursing her.

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills:

This skill module emphasizes the ability to assert one’s needs successfully and manage conflicts in relationships.

Saba had conflicts in her relationship with both Saman and Irtaza. Improving her interpersonal skills would help her deal best with the conflicts that she has in different relationships in her life.

Distress Tolerance Skills:

The distress tolerance skills module focuses on learning how to accept and tolerate distress without engaging in behaviors that may worsen the situation in the long run, such as self-harm. Like when Saba was feeling distressed that she wished Saman to be dead and now she was dead and Irtaza and her family wanted her to marry Irtaza but she blamed herself for the death of Saman and married someone who was worse for her. Distress tolerance would have stopped Saba from making these rash decisions.

Emotion Regulation Skills:

In this module, patients learn to identify and manage their emotional reactions. Emotion regulation involves enhancing or reducing emotions to respond effectively and achieve personal goals. This would have helped Saba to be emotionally stable and react with calm in situations where she was feeling overwhelmed and reacting to her emotions.

References:

May JM, Richardi TM, Barth KS. Dialectical behavior therapy as treatment for borderline personality disorder. Ment Health Clin. 2016;6(2):62–67. doi:10.9740/mhc.2016.03.62

Disclaimer: This is opinion based article and does not include medical advise. Contact professionals if you are dealing with any psychological issues.

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Blog Organizational Psychology

How Psychological Testing Help You Recruit The Right Person for Your Company

Recruiting new employees is an essential component of any business. It has to be done right to save the company from different kinds of losses a bad hire might cause. 

The Undercover Recruiter reports that bad hires can cost $240,000 in expenses. These losses include recruitment costs, retention costs and payment of the employee.

There are ways only to hire an employee who is fit for your company. One of the best ways to do that is to use psychological testing in your recruitment process. 

Many companies are already using psychological assessments and testing in their recruitment process to make better decisions when hiring key positions. Proctor & Gamble, JPMorgan, Microsoft and Ford Motor and many other top companies around the world are using psychological assessments for recruitment.

When recruiting for an executive or a mid-senior level person, it is very critical that they not only have the aptitude and skills to perform the job but also align with your company’s culture and values.

Several characteristics contribute to a key executive’s success. Certainly, the executive must have the background and aptitude to perform the job. But fitting in with the company culture can be just as crucial to their success, especially within a smaller organization.

How do psychological tests help in the recruitment process?

Psychological tests, which can be objective or subjective, are used to determine or assess the values, interests, personality and skills of a person. These attributes of a person can be very crucial when determining whether they would be a good and long-term fit for your company or not. Now let’s see what information and data you can get from applying psychological tests in the recruitment process.

Kind of questions you can answer with psychological tests

Which personality type best fits the job and the company?

You can assess the personality type of the person applying for the job and see if it fits your company or not. Like if you are hiring a creative designer, it might help if they have an open personality type. Or if you are hiring a community manager, it would help if they were not an introvert.

Does the candidate have enough “emotional intelligence” to work effectively in our company?

Emotional intelligence helps a lot when hiring a manager or a leader in your company. Team leads collaborate and work better with their teammates if they are emotionally intelligent and can cooperate and understand the needs and temperaments of their team members.

What is the General Intellect of the employee?

You can assess the person’s intelligence and see if they have general intellectual competence to handle the job responsibilities. The intelligence test will tell you if a person can assess the situation clearly and act accordingly and how well he can adapt to new scenarios. For example, Thomas’ GIA (General Intelligence Assessment) consists of five online tests, and they measure the following cognitive functions:

  1. Perceptual Speed
  2. Reasoning 
  3. Speed & Accuracy 
  4. Spatial Visualisation 
  5. Word Meaning 

Apart from the questions mentioned above, you can also assess a person’s Interpersonal style, management style or selling ability, leadership skills and aspirations or ambitions.

Things psychologists should know before assessment.

Psychological tests can offer a lot of insight into the potential candidate. Still, there are a few things that the person doing the assessment should be aware of to make a better assessment of the candidate. Some of the questions that the psychologist should know the answer to before testing are given below

  • What are the characteristics of the position?
  • What are the main areas of competencies needed for the role?
  • What kind of personality type would fit this role?
  • What are the barriers confronting the candidate?
  • What is the culture of the company?
  • What are the expectations from the position? (both short and long-term)

Psychological tests that are being used in recruitment

Now, in the end, I would like to mention some of the best psychological assessments that you can use for your recruitment process:

  • Diagnostic Achievement Test
  • Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator
  • The Caliper Profile
  • Employee Personality Profile
  • DISC
  • Criteria Cognitive Aptitude Test (CCAT) 
  • Sixteen Personality Factor Questionnaire

Employees are the most critical asset a company has, and you need to hire the right people to avoid hurting the company or prolonging essential goals. If you are not doing it already, start thinking about adding psychological testing to your recruitment process so you can feel confident when recruiting people for your company.

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Blog

How to stop suffering from Painful Emotions

The Overthinking Olympics at 2 AM

You’ve had a full day, and now it’s 2 AM. You’re getting ready to sleep, but instead of becoming slumberous, your regretful thoughts come marching back to life: “Remember that thing that embarrassed you in 7th grade?” That now seemingly innocent memory, guess what, triggers every painful and regretfully embarrassment you’ve ever had.

Does that ring a bell to you? It’s relatable to all of us.

These emotions are difficult because they are exhausting; your energy evaporates when you need it most, leading you into loops of regret and self-hatred. It is almost like quicksand because the more you attempt to escape, the harder your situation becomes. This is where strong motivation is needed but making escapes painful. What if I told you do not have to bear such torturous suffering?

You probably would not believe me, but I promise this is not one of those inspirational “Just be guides” to help ease the pain. It is practical, psychology-enabled, stunningly creative, and entertaining… Yet, so effortless. It stops the need for painful emotions from disrupting the peace in your mind.

So, what are we waiting for? Let’s began, shall we?

Why Do We Cling to Emotional Pain? (Such as an Old, Ugly Hoodie We Won’t Let Go Of)

Have you ever noticed how we hold onto our old emotional hurt like it is a VIP membership to the trauma club? We re-experience painful moments, replay exchanges in our mind, and overthink every cringe-worthy moment.

But why?

Your Brain Thinks It’s Helping (But It’s Actually Bothering You)
Your brain is like that overly protective friend who keeps bringing up embarrassing moments because it believes it’s “teaching you a lesson.” It believes that if you keep recalling painful memories, you won’t repeat the same mistakes.

Except… that’s not how it works.

Re-living past pain doesn’t stop future pain—it just makes you unhappy in the moment. It’s like re-watching a sad movie over and over again and hoping for a different ending.

Reality Check! Your past mistakes don’t define you. They are just bad scenes in the movie of your life, not the whole story.

Step 1: The “Movie Theatre” Trick (Detach from Your Feelings Like a Popcorn-Eating Audience Member)

Picture your hurt feelings as a film being shown on a large screen. Rather than being the starring character sinking in emotions, you’re merely a relaxed spectator sitting there watching it happen.

How to Do It:

  • Rather than saying: “Ugh, I’m so sad. I hate this feeling.”
  • Say this: “Oh, look! Sadness has joined the party. Let’s see how long it lasts.”

This trick is effective because it dissociates you from your feelings. You’re not your sorrow—you’re just feeling it, as if you were observing a rainstorm from your window rather than standing in the rain.

Step 2: The “It Is What It Is” Mindset (A.K.A Stop Wrestling Reality Like a WWE Fighter)

The majority of our misery stems from fighting reality.

  • “This shouldn’t have happened to me.”
  • “Life is so unfair.”
  • “Why me?!”

Reality doesn’t care about what should have happened—it just happened.

How to Stop the Fight:

Swap “Why me?” with “Okay, what’s next?”

Focus on what’s in your control instead of obsessing over what isn’t.

Accept that sometimes life is a chaotic mess, and that’s okay.
Consider it this way: If you spill your ice-cream cone on the floor, you don’t just sit there sobbing about gravity laws.

You just… order another ice-cream.

Step 3: The “Reframe Game” (Converting Pain into a Sitcom Episode)

Have you ever noticed how comedians take their worst life moments and make them into jokes? That’s because humor is an emotional resilience cheat code.

How to Reframe Your Struggles

Instead of: “I got rejected from my dream job. My life is over.”
Try: “Guess the universe is saving me for a better job where I don’t have to survive on instant noodles.”

Instead of: “I embarrassed myself in front of my crush.”
Try: “Well, at least I gave them an interesting story to tell.”
Pain + Time = Comedy. Why not then skip the process and laugh already?

Step 4: The “Time Machine” Trick (Because Your Problems Won’t Matter in 5 Years Anyway)

Right now, whatever is frustrating you can feel like the apocalypse.

But let’s get real

  • Think about an issue that felt MASSIVE five years ago.
  • Does it bother you now? Probably not.
  • Apply the same logic to your situation now.

Most of what feels utterly catastrophic right now will be a footnote in your story.

Future You is already so done—so why begin slow?

Step 5: Don’t Be a Victim—Be the Star Instead

No one likes a movie where the central character just laments and expects something to get better. The best tales are those whose protagonists struggle, adapt, and grow.

Flip the Script

“Why is this happening to me?”
“What is this teaching me?”

“Life is against me.”
“This is my ‘training’ —time to level up.”

Rather than playing yourself as some hapless supporting character, be the hard-as-nails leading character who makes it through things, not the guy waiting for life to get decent.

Step 6: Release the Emotion Before It Turns Into an Emotional Explosion

Bottling things up is like shaking a bottle of soda—it’s going to burst one of these days.

How to Let It Out (Without Freaking People Out)

Write It Down: Journaling isn’t just for teens’ angst—it really does help process emotions.

Talk It Out: Friend, therapist, or even your pet will suffice.

Move Your Body: Dance, exercise, or even scream into a pillow if necessary.

Sorrowful feelings are guests—arrive and depart. But only if you don’t imprison them within.

Step 7: Gratitude Focus (Because Your Brain is a Drama Queen and Needs a Reality Check)

Your brain adores emphasizing what is amiss in your life. What if you forced it to pay attention to what is right?

The Gratitude Hack

  • Each day, write down 3 things you’re thankful for.
  • Look for something good, even when times are bad.
  • Rather than “Life sucks,” say “Okay, but at least I have WiFi and pizza.”

Gratitude is not about pretending problems don’t exist—it’s about seeing that there’s more to life than them.

Final Thoughts: Your Brain Loves to Mess with You—Call Its Bluff

Let’s be real your brain is like that one friend who gets freaked out about everything.

Spill some coffee? “Your whole day is ruined.”

Text without an emoji? “They hate you now.”

Be sad for five minutes? “This is your personality forever.”

The brain loves to elaborate on everything little. One embarrassing incident becomes a disaster movie with you as the star.

The good news?

You’re not obligated to watch this silliness if you don’t desire to. You will hurt. You will embarrass yourself in front of people. You might have an awkward utterance and brain slap yourself silly with it for three years every time you’re showering. You might end up with a heartbreak, a bruised ego, or a trial on your patience.

But suffering?

It is a choice, like a haircut that didn’t turn out well: you can sob over it for half a year or just cover it up with a hat and get on with things.

And the beauty of it all? Half the things your brain freaks about never happen. Ever spent hours dreading something embarrassing happening, only to realize nobody even cared? That’s your brain faking out on you. It’s like a bad psychic predicting doom that never arrives. Your brain loves to replay the awful stuff on repeat, like a DJ stuck on a sad song. But the thing is—nobody else is recalling that moment when you flubbed a word in class or waved at someone who wasn’t waving back. Everybody’s too busy acting out their own inner soap operas.

Instead of allowing your mind to be the director sitting in the chair and making your life a tragedy, rewrite the script. Welcome your embarrassing moments as bloopers, not breaking news.

Laugh at yourself. Take credit for the weirdness of being human.

Next time your mind is trying to persuade you to think that you’re doomed, treat it like an over-the-top friend: nod, smile, and pay it no mind at all.

You’ve survived all the crappy days so far, and I’m sorry to spoil it for your overthinking, but you’re going to survive this one too.

And the next one.

And the next one.

Until one day you find yourself looking around and wondering why you ever let your brain’s bad stories control your life in the first place.

Categories
Psychology of Gender Personality Psychology

Understanding Masculinity: Types, Theories, and Cultural Impacts

1.1 Definition of Masculinity

Masculinity, also referred to as manhood or manliness, is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles associated with boys and men. Unlike biological sex, masculinity is a social construct that varies across cultures and historical periods (Ferrante & Joan, 2008).

Masculinity is often defined by traits and ideas that shape the stereotypical or ideal man, with traditional masculinity being the most recognized stereotype. However, traditional masculinity is not a single trait but a combination of multiple norms that define how men should behave (Mansfield, Addis, & Mahalik, 2003). These norms dictate behavior, attitudes, and roles that men are expected to adopt in different social contexts.

1.2 Types of Masculinity

The idea of multiple masculinities acknowledges that different masculinities exist in relation to various factors, including other men, women, cultural backgrounds, and socio-economic status (Saiwal, 2008). Masculinity is fluid and evolves over time, taking on different meanings depending on historical and cultural contexts (Brod & Kaufman, 1994). In diverse societies like the UK, multiple forms of masculinity coexist, each influenced by varying dynamics and norms.

Kimmel (1994) identified several distinct types of masculinity:

1.2.1 Hegemonic Masculinity

Hegemonic masculinity is the most dominant and culturally valued form of masculinity. It favors qualities such as heterosexuality, whiteness, physical strength, and emotional suppression. This form of masculinity often sets societal expectations for what it means to be a “real man.”

1.2.2 Complicit Masculinity

Men who do not fully embody hegemonic masculinity but still benefit from the patriarchal system without actively challenging it fall under complicit masculinity. These individuals often admire hegemonic traits but do not necessarily exhibit them themselves.

1.2.3 Marginalized Masculinity

Marginalized masculinity refers to men who cannot achieve hegemonic masculinity due to factors like race, sexuality, age, or religion. However, they may still subscribe to traditional masculine norms such as physical strength and aggression.

1.2.4 Subordinate Masculinity

Subordinate masculinity represents men who display characteristics that contradict hegemonic masculinity. These may include emotional expressiveness, physical weakness, or non-traditional gender roles. Gay or effeminate men are often associated with this category.

1.3 Theories of Masculinity

Several theories attempt to define and quantify masculinity. Some of the most influential perspectives include masculinity ideology and masculine gender role stress. According to Pleck, Sonenstein, and Ku (1993), masculinity ideology refers to cultural standards that men are socialized to adopt, while gender role stress highlights the pressure men feel to conform to these standards.

1.3.1 The Four Major Male Standards (Brannon & David, 1976)

Brannon and David (1976) outlined four core masculine standards:

  • “No sissy stuff” – Men must distance themselves from femininity, avoid emotions, and reject anything perceived as “soft.”
  • “Be a big wheel” – Men should prioritize achievement, success, and competition.
  • “Be a sturdy oak” – Men must be resilient, composed, and in control at all times.
  • “Give ’em hell” – Men should exhibit aggression and dominance to assert their masculinity.

1.3.2 Levant’s Masculine Norms (Levant et al., 1992)

Levant and his colleagues identified specific masculine norms that men are often expected to adhere to, including:

  • Emotional restriction
  • Avoidance of femininity
  • Aggression and toughness
  • Self-reliance
  • Prioritizing achievement
  • Objectifying sex
  • Homophobia

1.3.3 Mahalik’s Expanded Masculine Norms (Mahalik et al., 2003)

Mahalik and his team further expanded on masculinity by identifying additional norms, such as:

  • Winning
  • Emotional control
  • Primacy of work
  • Risk-taking
  • Violence
  • Heterosexual self-presentation
  • Playboy behavior
  • Self-reliance
  • Power over women

The level of masculinity in a man is often judged by his conformity to these norms. Those who closely align with these traits are perceived as more masculine, whereas those who reject them may be seen as less masculine (Mahalik et al., 2003).

The Impact of Traditional Masculinity

Traditional masculinity is often defined by a blend of these masculine norms, with power and dominance playing a significant role. Beliefs such as “I need to do anything to win” and “I feel weak if I’m not in control” can heavily influence a man’s self-perception and behavior.

While these norms have historically shaped male identities, rigid adherence to them can lead to negative consequences. The struggle to conform to traditional masculinity has been linked to poor mental and physical health outcomes, including stress, anxiety, and even depression (Levant et al., 2009).

Conclusion

Masculinity is a complex and evolving social construct that varies based on cultural, historical, and individual perspectives. While traditional masculinity has long dictated societal expectations for men, emerging theories and perspectives highlight the diverse ways masculinity is expressed. Recognizing multiple masculinities allows for a more inclusive and flexible understanding of what it means to be a man, paving the way for healthier and more authentic male identities.

References

Ferrante, Joan (2008), “Gender and sexualities: with emphasis on gender ideals”, in Ferrante, Joan, ed. (2010-01-01). Sociology: a global perspective (7th ed.). Belmont, California: Thomson Wadsworth. pp. 269–272. ISBN9780840032041.

Mansfield, K. M., Addis, M. E. & Mahalik, J. R. (2003) “Why won’t he go to the doctor?”: The psychology of men’s help seeking. International Journal of Men’s Health, 2(2), 93-109.

M. Kimmel, “Masculinity and Homophobia.,” Sage London, vol. H. Brod and M. Kaufman (Eds) Theorizing Masculinities , pp. 119-141, 1994.

B. R. Saiwal, (2008) “Construction And Diagnosis Of Gender,” Sindicate For Gender Mainstreaming, New Delhi, 2008

Mahalik, J. R., Locke, B. D., Ludlow, L. H., Diemer, M. A., Scott, R. P., Gottfried, M., et al. (2003). Development of the conformity to masculine norms inventory. Psychology of Men and Masculinity, 4, 3–25.

Brannon, R. (1976). The male sex role: Our culture’s blueprint for manhood, what it’s done for us lately. In D. David & R. Brannon (Eds.), The forty-nine percent majority: The male sex role. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley.

Jr, E.H. & Ferrera, D.L. & Pleck, Joseph. (1992). Men and Masculinities: Scales for Masculinity Ideology and Masculinity-Related Constructs. Sex Roles. 27.

Categories
Dark Personality Psychology Personality Psychology

The Main Character Syndrome: A Philosophical Defence

Everything that we know about the world is filtered through our own subjective lens. Our trials and tribulations are unique. Our experiences might hold some similarities with others. However, they are distinct and separate from many of the people around us.

Even our siblings do not share the same views about everything. This reality is partly what causes the main character syndrome.

However, many of us are aware that we are not the only ones facing challenges very similar to us. Rather, every person we know has experienced almost the same spectrum of emotions as us.

But…

Plato posits the idea that some people are born different. And if they are cultivated in a certain way, they are the ones who are best suited to be leaders.

And is it not true?

I argue that it is desirable. But I am not sure if it is true.

A person with the main character syndrome, however, would agree with Plato. This person would believe that his/her goals in life are higher than others. This person would argue that they are destined to achieve ‘greatness’ in some way.

As most things in life, there is a positive aspect and a negative aspect to this thought.

Higher Goals in Life

Everyone’s goals are important to them.

But there still are goals that have a higher probability of making life better in some way for a large number of people.

You can either do it for the people around you. Or you can do it for yourself. In both cases, if one sets a high ceiling for themselves, there are chances you will be changing entire lives.

For example, Isaac Newton simply became curious about whether the speed at which the apple fell from the tree to the ground could be calculated, replicated and whether this rate was universal.

And he came upon the Law of Gravitation!

The goal does not have to address a global problem. But it is about solving a significant, functional problem. If it is a significant enough problem, even if you are doing it for yourself, you can help a lot of people!  

Belief in One’s Abilities

A clear positive of the main character syndrome is belief in one’s ability.

As social media grows in power with each passing day, we become even more embroiled in what we cannot do. According to a study, social media usage is linked to thinking that most problems in your life are caused because there is something wrong with you.

The main character syndrome can help you look on the other side.

I am bound to have a major impact on the world.

While the thought is not completely rational, it does provide you an opportunity to use your strengths.

Moreover, belief in possibilities can also reinforce you by itself. The higher goal that you have and the skills you develop along the way, all point to the confirmation that you are probably going to do something great.

There is obviously a mature way of looking at that.

But, what’s the point? The concept of destiny is in itself a motivator.  

Tendency to Improve

Research has indicated that grandiose narcissism is positively related to openness to change. That is, in order to improve one’s stature, grandiose narcissists can adapt to newer situations and skills.

When you are the main character, everything in your life is there to build your character. You are going to have entire character arcs and ultimately, you will get to the things you always wanted.

Or that’s basically what we think anyways.

Some important characters in your life fire you up. Some teach you important lessons. Yet others throw obstacles your way.

Being the main character that you are, you grow through it all. And you prove to your friends, family, the naysayers and the supporters that you truly are a force to reckon with.

This is actually a very useful approach to life.

Well, as long as you demonstrate enough grit.

Conclusion

The utility of any philosophy can be counted on how good it can either explain the world or improve it. For that reason, the main character syndrome can be a very positive condition for one to have. While it might not explain the world completely, it can make a person feel important in their life. They might actually end up doing a lot of good because of that.

However, there is always the danger of some event eventually knocking a person out of this mindset. Worse yet, such an event might knock them out of the positive part of this protagonist syndrome.

Whatever the case maybe, there are many positives to be gained from the main character syndrome.

Hell, even I might consider it!

Categories
Dark Personality Psychology Personality Psychology

The Positives of Machiavellianism

Classically, Machiavellianism has been seen as a negative trait. To define it briefly, Machiavellianism is a tendency towards intentionally and strategically manipulating others to gain and keep power and control. It is also a part of the Dark Tetrad traits of personality.

However, is there nothing positive to be gleaned from Machiavellianism?

I argue that there are small snippets of lessons that we might learn from this Dark Tetrad trait.

Navigating Through Organizations

In unstructured organizations, Machs seem to have an edge. They do best when they have less management oversight, less regulations, and greater decision-making authority. While this is not an ideal environment – it does show that Machiavellians can navigate through and perhaps benefit from work environments in which there is less discipline.

Moreover, if the individual displays some genuine sincerity, there are higher chances of professional success. Not only that, another aspect of Machiavellianism, ‘planfulness’ also can be beneficial for one’s success. Some research has also indicated that people high in this trait have better political skills.

Political skills, while often considered undesirable, do predict career success in certain situations. This is because workers who possess strong political skills may be able to manage their staff more effectively than through management techniques

Furthermore, Machiavellians tend to do better in marketing occupations, somewhat. Their expertise or confidence while promoting a certain product or service could be invaluable here.

However, there is an important caveat here.

According to Zettler and Solga (2013), work performance and Machiavellianism share a complex relationship. Having a high Machiavellianism level might improve work performance in the short term by creating positive initial impressions or a positive social reputation.

But in the long run, these advantages are countered by manipulative and cynical interpersonal interactions.

Manipulation with Low Cost

The belief in using manipulation to accomplish one’s goals in the workplace, when required, is known as organizational Machiavellianism. People who are at ease taking advantage of others and do it when it suits them are known as organizational Machiavellians.

Manipulation does not always have to be at the cost of the other person.

Instead, people who have high Machiavellian tendencies may also be very flexible and courteous; they are not always vengeful, cruel, or callous.

“(Monarchs) ought, at suitable seasons of the year, entertain the people with festivals and shows” (Machiavelli, p. 61).

Such conduct obviously comes across as courteous and accommodating.

As said earlier, manipulation done with genuine regard might actually portray the individual in a better light.

All without using deceit!

Learning Lessons from the Past

An important part of Machiavellianism is not repeating mistakes of the past. Also, incorporating positive points used previously can only increase your chances for success.

“… as to the mental training of which we have spoken, a prince should read histories, and in these should note the actions of great men, observe how they conducted themselves in their wars, and examine the causes of their victories and defeats, so as to avoid the latter and imitate them in the former.” (Machiavelli, p. 8)

If you disengage your personal cultural or social biases from your strategies you can also be open to try newer things.

This can actually be an adaptive attitude towards everything in life! Conventionally ‘good’ traits or practices can also be taken advantage of, if the person does not apply them smartly.

Competitiveness

According to a study on athletes, Machiavellianism is positively associated with task performance and competitiveness.

If you want to remain in power or gain it, you are likely to view others as your competition. This is, strictly speaking, not a bad thing. Competitiveness can predict better performance in various tasks. And competitiveness is associated with almost all the dark personality traits.

A Word of Caution

With the recent trend towards seeing ‘dark psychology’ as a positive thing, it does seem there are some benefits to it. Taking a look at authors like Robert Greene also would let you know some of the positives.

But there are major caveats to the popular explanation.

Is Machiavellianism Related to Intelligence?

Firstly, it is frequently believed that Machiavellians possess greater intellect. This perception is due to their proficiency in manipulating others, particularly when it comes to social comprehension. However, it is well documented that there is no connection between Machiavellianism and IQ.

One could also make the inference that Machiavellians would be better at interpreting emotions of others. However, here too there has been a negative correlation between Machiavellianism and emotional intelligence (EQ).

Conclusion

Niccolo Machiavelli was primarily concerned with advising rulers on how to best preserve order. He urged rulers to use a variety of actions, only a few of which were dishonest, in order to preserve the necessary order.

As a result, the Machiavellian concept is intrinsically complex.

Machiavelli’s manual translates into the use of dishonesty in the context of contemporary organizations, only when it is required to hold onto power and efficiently manage people.

Consequently, it should be evident that Machiavelli’s recommendations included more acceptable methods in addition to manipulativeness.

Categories
Psychiatric Disorders

What Causes Stress Disorders (Acute Stress Disorder & Post-traumatic Stress Disorder)

Stress disorders are psychiatric conditions that occur as a response to psychological trauma. In this article, I will attempt to explain how these symptoms can develop following a traumatic event. There are two major stress disorders, known as Acute Stress Disorder and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.

Trauma Response

Dramatic and malignant events in human life often can be traumatic. When a person’s sense of identity, worth and the meaning of everything they do has been challenged in a cruel incident, they tend to have long lasting effects. These vile incidents have two major aspects to them. They are

  • Physical
  • Psychological
  • Mixture of both

Physical Violence

Some traumatic incidents constitute physical or sexual violence. Both the actual happenstance of violence and the threat of violence can be considered ‘violent’ because of the involvement of extreme physical or sexual insecurity. If a certain incident made them extremely insecure about themselves, their life or autonomy, there is a chance that their responses to cope with it will be extreme as well.

Psychological Violence

Often events which cause a person extreme stress are psychologically violent. These incidents might involve exposure to or the response of extreme emotional disturbance and the loss of ‘belief’ or severe dysregulation of behavior. An example could be of a very emotionally draining divorce with a partner who was psychologically abusive.

Mixture of both

Traumatic events usually involve violence of both a physical and a psychological nature. For example, soldiers in war while also facing insecurity about their physical wellbeing also have to go through extreme amounts of psychological stress.

By the very nature of the extreme response to trauma in both Acute Stress Disorder and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, these violent incidents have both physical and psychological aspects.

Experience of Trauma in Acute Stress Disorder

Violence makes us hyperaware of the indications where that violence has a greater chance of influencing us. This includes the smell, sounds, and visual aspects that we were exposed to, during that incident.

So, every time the traumatized person is exposed to a similar environment or cue, they experience extreme psychological disturbance.

Why does this happen?

Well, because we want to protect ourselves from danger.

We are observing things around us, learning how things work so that we could either achieve a reward or stave off danger.

And when something really threatens our security, we tend to remember the cues around us. This is because the next time we are exposed to danger, we can cope better with it.

However, the emotional disturbance that a person with ASD or PTSD experiences during that traumatic event is too extreme. They can experience hyperventilation, severe anxiety, worry and their sleep cycle can also be disturbed significantly. These responses become conditioned to certain cues from the environment.

Thus, every time the person is exposed to similar cues, they generate such responses – especially if they pay attention to those cues.

In the case of Acute Stress Disorder, these conditioned responses become lesser and lesser, and stop before a month after the traumatic incident.

On the other hand, in the case of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, they persist for much longer periods of time.

Conclusion

Both Acute Stress Disorder and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder are very debilitating conditions. They can affect a person’s life to such a level that they might give up their jobs, shut off contact with others and even consider taking their own life. However, understanding how such a condition can start can help you cope with it and take the necessary actions.

If you or someone you know is experiencing this disorder, I would advise you to seek professional help. Do not take your mental health lightly!

Categories
Brain Health Psychological Tips

Your Phone is Not Your Friend

A friend is a being that is there when you require help.

Now imagine something or someone that provides you with exactly the things you lack at the time.

You’re feeling bored? This friend provides you a lot of entertainment to witness and talk about!

You don’t feel good? This friend gives you a million things to watch and laugh at.

You feel heartbroken? This friend provides you with countless pieces of advice – often pretty contradictory.

But most of all, this friend provides you with exactly what you think you want.

And what we think we want is often not really what we require.

So, in this article, I will be talking about a few reasons why your phone is not your friend.

Easy Access to Lies

In your low mood, you can always pick up your phone, go on instagram, or facebook or tiktok and you would instantly see many people seemingly living their lives to the fullest.

Living their lives as no human can.

The simple fact of the matter is that social media portrays a very distorted version of reality. Everyone is often at their best – or worst – behavior and image.

Does a friend lie to you?

They certainly should not! I am not talking about the probability of whether a friend would lie to you or not. Rather the concept of a friend is someone who wishes you well.

Your phone, however, is not your friend.

Then what is your phone exactly?

Unhealthy Addictions

Simply put, social media, smartphones or any kind of technological devices are simply tools to help you perform specific functions. There is no ethical or moral substrate of such devices. However, what they can lead to is the main problem.

Vape pods were considered an innovation of technology. They were shown as a new way to help smokers quit tobacco! However, recently these pods are being banned across Europe because they have actually got many teenagers hooked on nicotine!

This was a device for helping people. But it ended up enabling an entire generation towards nicotine addiction.

Your smartphone on the other hand does not hand out just one problem.

This device, unlike the vape pods cannot be banned. Moreover, it has become a part of daily life. You need your phone to order food, get a cab, navigate the map, prepare and conduct meetings in the workplace. But just a few clicks away, there lie many of the most addictive applications ever created. These apps have been proven by research to induce stressful habits.

Among the myriad of issues, social comparison, anxiety, depression, loneliness are just a few of them.

Lower Productivity

 If you’re spending so much time on your phone, using social media, you are automatically letting it eat up your time to be productive!

Research has shown that social media usage drops employees’ productivity significantly. No wonder you are not able to get your tasks done on time! And even if you somehow get them done – think about how much better you can perform your tasks or go on new ventures just by using that time lost to social media!

Smartphone Addiction Can Mess up Social Interactions

Ever wonder why some of your elders complain about young people always being on the phone?

Well, try to get an important point across to someone who cannot maintain eye contact because they think something on their phone is more interesting.

Interesting does not equal to important. This is just one way constantly being on your phone messes up social interactions.

“The Machine is much, but it is not everything. I see something like you in this plate, but I do not see you. I hear something like you through this telephone, but I do not hear you. That is why I want you to come. Pay me a visit, so that we can meet face to face, and talk about the hopes that are in my mind.” (E. M. Forster, The Machine Stops).

While phones can be a tool to facilitate interactions, they reduce the human, irrational and emotional aspect of communication which is natural for us. Emotional expression serves an important function in our communication with other people.

Emojis may be able to give a surface level understanding of what you are feeling. But it cannot convey the entire emotion. Or the gravity of what you are talking about.

Conclusion

Our phones are devices that help us communicate. But unlike older times, they now also serve as portals to other people’s (slightly to highly) distorted presentation of the world. In fact, they have become a world in themselves because of the sheer amount of information they can give us access to.

But they are not a substitute for organic experiences. Much of the world is still organic. The food that we order, the cab driver we call, the people we see online – all are living inside an organic reality.

Let us not let our phones fool us into a world where we can access, download, delete and log out of any situation that we so desire.