In the current digital sphere, communication has diversified. No longer does one have to speak to each other directly. While this has greatly increased the convenience of communication, it has also increased the convenience for pathological lying.

Yes, this did just escalate quickly.

Pathological lying is a pattern of behavior of distorting or hiding information that is not really needed in the context. So, a pathological liar would be a person who lies ‘without much thought’, even in situations where he or she is not being harmed. One could connect pathological lying to psychopathy, Machiavellianism and/or narcissism.

However, compared to these large traits, pathological lying is one specific behavior. One study of 1,000 young offenders found excessive lying among 15% of males and 26% of females.

In this article, I will talk about 5 red flags that could give away someone who engages in pathological lying.

Let us begin!

1. Difficulty in Getting a Straightforward Answer

When one asks a simple question, a person who engages in pathological lying will respond with answers that are too vague. They might bring up some other topic or they might appear to connect the question to some other topic.

Not only that, you might feel as if you have to wrangle the answer out of them. This particle behavior is interesting because it directly relates to one aspect of a trait in the Five Factor Model of personality.

Straightforwardness is a major aspect of Agreeableness, a personality trait akin to being polite, honest and empathic.  Psychopaths, narcissists and Machiavellians, all generally score less on measures of straightforwardness.

2. The Behavior is Persistent across Age and Context

Scientists have also defined pathological lying as chronic lying behavior. A pathological liar would seem to lie almost indiscriminately, across multiple situations. So, one major identifier here is if you hang out with this person and he/she continues to fabricate information even when there is no real need to.

I would further argue here that a person who has had a habit of lying pathologically can also remain functional. It could be that they have learned how to lie differently in different contexts to escape being caught.

However, there is a high chance that if you are their friend, relative, family or any kind of long-term associate, you will detect small indications of missing and distorted information.

This relates to the next point.

3. Suspicious Friends, Family and Colleagues

Even if the point being lied about is not important, when we learn that something someone says is untrue and dishonest, we might not trust them. This then forms the basis of the turbulent relationships that a pathological liar would have.

In the case of people who engage in pathological lying, the social circle they have might be suspicious of them. They might say that the person is insincere. Because of that, their family members or friends and colleagues might find it difficult to confide in them.

Often this distrust could show up in behaviors like not leaving any valuables in the pathological liar’s custody. It could also show up in not including them in close-knit family gatherings.

A crucial point to remember here is that this exclusion from social gatherings further solidifies pathological lying.

So, it is not at all an attractive thing to any person, even if they pathologically lie about many things. In fact, excluding such people from these gatherings could lead to even more personal isolation, which could increase their levels of paranoia.

4. Very Frequent Contradictions in Narratives

We as humans are far from perfect. We make many of the same errors in judgment that many people around us make.

However, with respect to the majority of people, the contradictions in our speech or expressions are far lesser and in-between than in the case of a pathological liar. It could be that when recalling a memorable trip, the individual could distort multiple points of the story to make them look superior. Conversely, if they are narrating a story or some point, they might distort parts of the story to put down someone else that they might not found favorable.

Whichever route they take, pathological lying can be identified when the story that they tell seems to be fundamentally distorted, with various points excluded from it.

One could say here that this is because pathological liars lack insight.  

5. Confrontations Lead to Overreactions

No one really wants to be openly confronted about their lack of honesty. It makes us self-conscious about ourselves. However, we have enough wits about ourselves to realize genuine issues that we might have. When someone close to us tells us that we are being dishonest, we often make a goodwill attempt to understand what they mean.

Now, consider this in the context of an individual who does not realize that

• they are being dishonest
• being dishonest is a behavior that should be improved.

Such an individual would become defensive when they are confronted. Even in very private and personal settings. Since they do not consider you or anyone close to them trustworthy enough to tell the truth and be okay, they might see your or another friend’s advice as a challenge to their identity.

So, a pathological liar would view confrontations as open indication of antagonism.

And they would then reply according to this conception.

This could result in ‘fighting matches’ with their close associates. Further still, this could result in physical and violent confrontations.

Conclusion

While popular media portrays pathological liars as psychopaths with no distress, this is not the case. Pathological lying is one feature of many distressing psychological disorders. In fact, pathological lying is in itself considered to be a condition of its own, defined as pseudologia phantastica.

So, while pathological lying causes distress to others, it often originates from running from psychological distress in the individual. This makes it an uncomfortable condition for the person too.

If you feel as if you or someone around you has a behavior of lying pathologically, I would advise you to give this the proper time and care.

After all, wouldn’t it be great if we make our lives less distressing?