Social events are supposed to be fun.

Going out with your friends, going on a date with your partner or even going to weddings can be exciting. Research has also shown that people who are high in sociability tend to have better health outcomes.

However, not all people find social interactions to be fulfilling. While introverts are generally healthy, a subset of people experience anxiety in social situations. Often this anxiety is an indication of a deeper psychological issue. People with social anxiety disorder (SAD), which is also called social phobia, are constantly afraid of and avoid social situations because they think other people will judge them. Social anxiety can be very upsetting, and people who have it may avoid social or performance situations, which can affect their school, job, and social life.

I have treated people with Social Anxiety Disorder and other social issues. It is not at all a pleasant condition.

But there are many behavioral and cognitive techniques that can overcome these issues.

Do you want to take control of your social anxiety?

Do you want to be social without negative thoughts all the time?

In this essay, I will outline three of the major techniques that you can use to get rid of your social anxiety. As a reminder, I will add that if you believe that you have a major issue with social anxiety, please consult a clinician. There is no harm in doing so.

With that out of the way, let’s see how you can take control of your social anxiety!

Cognitive Restructuring

Our first point is about addressing our cognitions.

Imagine a situation where all your friends are having a lot of fun. But during that gathering, a friend of yours says something which appears to be hurtful. However, he does not seem to notice. He keeps enjoying with the group.

But your mood has changed completely. Suddenly, you feel conscious about yourself. And that just sucks the fun out of everything.

If you find yourself in situations where others’ judgments seem to affect you more deeply, you might have major issues with social anxiety.

The cognitive triad can be used to explain this. When we find ourselves unable to take control of our negative thoughts about us, others and the world, our mood deteriorates. Unfortunately, in social settings this mood can be far more hurtful to us.

Cognitive restructuring is, at its core, re-evaluating your thoughts about a situation using all the evidence that is available.

It could be that perhaps your initial evaluation of your friend’s comments was too harsh. Perhaps the initial evaluation did not take many things into consideration. For example, it could be that he says these things to everyone. Or maybe he said that as a passing comment.

It could also be that people in general do not say many things personally. They do not generally think much before commenting. In fact, much of what people say could be a result of projection of their own insecurities.

So, if you re-evaluate the situation following a similar line of reasoning, you will find that your thoughts might change about the entire event. Perhaps the intensity might lower significantly. In fact, you could even start feeling bad about that friend.

We have understood how adaptive thoughts and beliefs could treat social anxiety. But social anxiety is also based on our continuous habits of thinking in social situations.

This means that going through those adverse situations could be crucial.

With this, I will move on to another effective intervention.

Exposure

One of the unfortunate products of social anxiety is that one might stop being social. They might avoid social events, birthdays, re-union parties, hang-outs, and trips – many things that can actually make you feel really good.

Perhaps the most negative consequence of social anxiety could be that you do not develop the right coping mechanisms.

Being exposed to the situations we fear the most can have positive consequences that we might not have expected. In fact, a study demonstrated that exposure to social mishaps could be used to treat people with social anxiety!

While treating patients with Social Anxiety Disorder, I found this technique to be particularly useful. New ways of providing exposure can be through virtual exposure as well.

Thanks for technology!

Exposure is often paired with another intervention. Since symptoms of anxiety can also include our physiological arousal, it is important at times to relax our body.

Relaxation

Anxiety has many symptoms. Many of these symptoms are actually psycho-physiological. These features could involve

• Increased heartbeat or palpitations
• Nausea or vomiting
• Profuse sweating
• Dizziness
• Pins and needles
• Tightening of muscles

These symptoms indicate a period of heightened physiological arousal. If you find that your experience with these symptoms is severe, consult your clinician. However, tutorials for some basic relaxation exercises are also available online.

Body relaxation is not a standalone treatment. But research indicates that it can help you control your physiological symptoms effectively. It certainly can make you feel calmer and more in touch with your surroundings. The rule goes that the less agitated or physiologically aroused you feel during anxiety, the better your outcomes.

Conclusion

Social anxiety is a debilitating condition to have. It stops you from doing many healthy activities. However, to say that there is no end to it would be wrong.

The 3 techniques talked about in this article are very effective ways of controlling social anxiety. But remember, these are just 3 of many other psychological tactics that you can use. In fact, these are the basic psychological techniques that have been used for decades.

Newer psychotherapies and techniques have emerged over the years since then.

However, remember that if you have severe symptoms of social anxiety, address them properly. Talk to a health consultant. You can also ask for help from your peers or social circle.

If you would like to add anything, or you have a question, feel free to write it in the comments section below.